Hello friends, today we went shopping! Yeah! After being on our own for the last 5 days not including court or the couple of days Alina was with us, we were ready for a day out. We went to what Olga called a department store, it sold a little of everything. We told her we were looking for gifts made in Ukraine to take back for our family members! We found some but its hard finding souvenirs believe it or not! She told us this sunday she will take us to a shop that sells nothing but souvenirs. Hopefully we can finish up then. Of course there were a couple of things still on my list of things I wanted for myself that I was able to find today a BIG purse made in Ukraine and a cool hat! Yes love it and they were cheap! Here the women wear nice hats and carry large leather hand bags. Now I look like a Ukrainian woman! Not really but I don't stick out as much! When we were in Novamirgrad David asked about some sandwiches that street vendors were selling, Olga said her grandmother made really good ones and she would have her make some for us. Yes today she brought us 2 bags full! They are stuffed with potatoes and another kind with cabbage. They are really good, but so many! We did go see Alina today the social worker talked to Olga she told her she was worried about Alina. Alina is not acting like herself and she wanted Olga to make sure Alina wasn't changing her mind about leaving. She said Alina needed to be with us we are good for her. While Olga was in with the social worker Dave and I were in a room visiting with Alina. I was unaware of the social and Olga's conversation but I knew something was a wrong with Alina so being me I asked her do you want to go home with us? Do you want us as parents? I told her she didn't have to be with us if she didn't want to, and we would leave. The choice is hers! Well holding my breath she said yes she wants to be with us and yes she wants to go home with us and she has not changed her mind. Good glad that's all clear! Before this was a dream she wanted to come true and now it is and now she just wants to spend her last days with her friends. Its sad for her to never see them again. I completely understand but Dave on the other hand still wants to go see her. Daddy's! So she gave us a time frame that we can visit. I say let her be alone with her friends, but we will probably be going to see her during the time she gave for David's sake. Olga came in to the room and told me of the conversation with the social worker I told her that I already asked Alina questions about what she wants but, so there's no confusion please ask her again. She did and the answers were the same, she just needs time with her friends. We will be leaving on Monday to pick up Tanya who is waiting for us. I had Olga to call and check on her. She said she is waiting patiently but hurry up! How funny! Well nothing left to report on so until tomorrow have a good day and God Bless!
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be patient with her... this is her LIFE that you are disrupting with all this FAMILY...USA...NEW: LANGUAGE...RULES...BOUNDARIES...LIMITATIONS...etc..
ReplyDeleteyou are wise to realize that she needs her time to grieve the loss of the only life that she has known, and be supportive and loving to her.
Tanya may be reacting differently than Alina right now, but it may come crashing on her later... realize that this is a loss for them, although the gain is greater (in our eyes), for them it is their loss too...
hopefully, you have a good support system in place, here, for the girls to transition as smoothly as possible. is there any follow-up once the girls are here?? (from Ukrainian social workers?)
let the girls know that they have the WHOLE new family loving them !! although we are anxious for them to come, we know that they must have their time to say goodbye.
give them hugs for me !!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
Hi Freda & David,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to thank you again for blogging so that we can be a part of your adoption experience! I check your blog multiple times daily! You're doing a great job! It's hard for any of us to really imagine what any of you (Freda, David, Alina, Tanya) are going through emotionally, and yet you have been willing to bring us right along! Our prayers continue to be with you for daily encouragement as it is needed, and some fun memories to bring home with you. Hang in there - you're on the home stretch!
You are doing great. It is good that you give her some space. She is loosing the only life she has known and she is having to struggle with that. She doesn't realize how much you understand her hurting. You might want to take photos of her friend with her so she knows that she will keep those with her. Have her give them your address and phone number so that if any of them come to the US they can contact her. Find out if it would be possible for her to contact them after she moves to the USA or at least that she can write them letters. She can probably help you plan a small goodbye party with her friends.
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